Obituary

Donald Mitchell May

A small bit of light on Earth and a large part of all our hearts has begun eternal life in heaven. Don May hit the timing scoreboard on September 15, 2022, with a time of 86 years, 9 months, 3 days, and 9 hours. It was a hard won but beautiful race to the wall. Don was an unassuming servant of God; steadfast in his faith, he moved through life as an example of great humility and honor. As a Son, Husband, Dad, Pop, Grandpa, Friend, Coach, PE and Drivers Ed Teacher, and Mentor, Don set the bar unimaginably high for his fellow human beings. Don had an innocent view of the world around him, always hoping for the best.... but was wise enough to prepare for the worst. Forever looking for the good or interesting in others, he always made sure people he spoke with were heard and respected. He gave his all no matter what he was doing or who he was with. Whether it was family, friends, students, coworkers, or swimmers, those who knew him felt his sincerity. The lessons he taught were many. He was a simple guy with few wants, and a straightforward view of life. He lived humbly every single day of his life.

Don was born on December 12, 1935 in the city of Chicago, and was the only child of Floyd and Lou May. Born to them later in life, Don was the light of their hardworking lives. Never indulged, he grew up in the heart of Chicago playing stickball trying to keep out of trouble in the neighborhoods with his many pals. There began many of his lifelong friendships and his love of mischief. Graduating from Amundson High in 1953, he never claimed to be the “best” student, preferring to pal around with the boys and hone his all-around jokester skills. His boyhood charm grew with him into a handsome heartbreaker of a young man who caught the eye of the beautiful and poised Sylvia (Jean) Friske, daughter of Dr. Oscar Friske. Knowing she was the one, he married her as quickly as she would have him in 1957. In Jean, Don had met his perfect match. His love of laughter was the perfect complement to her pragmatic approach to life. What a blessed life they have had together, having just celebrated their 64th wedding anniversary on August 31st, 2022. Don was always the first one to say how fortunate he had been in marriage and in life. “Every day...even the hard ones were all good in some way and they still are.” As a prime example of his humility he’d often say, “Boy, did I get lucky and I have no idea why.”

He earned his Masters in Education from the University of Illinois in Champaign- Urbana, where he joined the Theta Xi Fraternity. There he met many more of his lifelong pals and earned the nick names, “Sly” and “Bullet Head.” Don is a current member of Trinity Lutheran Church in Las Cruces where he ushered and worked on the Hospitality Committee. He’s a former member of Gloria Dei Lutheran Church in Rockford.

In 1959 Don and Jean’s first son, Kevin William, was born followed by Ross Charles in 1961. To his sons he was the greatest father in the world. What fun they had running the neighborhood around 2610 Melody Lane. The boys were Don’s greatest joy in life. Intensely proud of his sons as boys, teenagers, and grown men, Don was their biggest supporter. From Kevin’s stint in the military to his amazing creativity as a professional award-winning photographer, Don often expressed his awe of Kevin’s skill and travels across the world for his art. Don and Jean’s home is filled with some of Kevin’s finest pieces. Don was so proud that Ross followed in his footsteps as a PE teacher and swim coach. Ross was known to say, “I had the best childhood in the world.” Don continued to support and guide Ross in all his endeavors as teacher and coach - and who better could there have been to guide Ross than the Extraordinary Coach Don May?

Don and Jean started their lives in Rockford, Illinois, when Don took his first teaching job at Rockford West High School in 1959 where he also began his coaching career as assistant coach for the boys swimming team. His career continued at Guilford High School in 1965 when he began as a PE and Driver’s Education teacher and when he was named Head Coach of the Boys Swimming Team. It was his honor to have been Head Coach of the Guilford Boys Swimming Team alongside Head Diving Coach Gene Cassioppi for 40 years. His coaching success is legendary in the state of Illinois. Across the years under his leadership, the boys swim team won 32 NIC-9 championships. They had 49 individual state medalists, 27 sectional championships, 9 district championships, and 14 top-10 state finishes. In 1982 and 1993 he was named Boys Swimming Coach of the Year by the Illinois Swimming and Diving Association. In 1984 he received the Illinois Swim Hall of Fame Award. In 2015 he was inducted into the Rockford Public Schools Hall of Fame. Then in 2017 he was inducted into the Rockford Public School District Athletics Hall of Fame.

Among the swim coaching community, especially those in the suburban Chicago area, Don enjoyed the admiration of the veteran coaches and officials for the success of his swimmers and the quality of his program. Even more, he built lasting relationships through a genuine interest in each and every person. Don never displayed an ounce of ego and could laugh at himself readily.

Despite the noteworthy honors and tremendous success found by his teams and within the swimming community, the most important thing for Don in coaching was always the swimmers. Don left a legacy of amazing lessons, not just in the pool but about life. Many of his swimming alumni fondly recall his humility, honesty, and genuine caring. He was noted to be one of the most significant people in the lives of swimmers from multiple generations. Some of them even stated that he was the most influential person in their lives aside from their own parents. Through his guidance and leadership and sometimes tough but fair lessons he taught many swimmers what it was to be humble, show respect, and to be dedicated and disciplined. He taught them about teamwork, honor, and above all he helped develop good human beings.

Across the years, you may recall that Don was a lifelong lover of fitness even though he sometimes would tell you he exercised mostly because he liked to eat (a lot). If you happened to be taking an early drive down Springcreek Road in Rockford, you might have seen him on his daily 4 a.m. three-mile run before swim practice. He himself ran with every PE class he taught, not only to encourage the students but to continue his legacy of leading by example. Even after he retired in 2005 and moved to Las Cruces, New Mexico, he remained committed to a healthy lifestyle, and he challenged his body at the gym daily well into his 80’s.

The greatest tragedy of his life was the loss of his son Ross, who as a husband to Angela, and father to Cali left much too soon. When Ross left this Earth, in his absence, Don swore to be a presence for Cali however possible. He and Jean refer to Ross’s widow, Angela as their daughter and were there for Cali and her every step of the way. Later, when Cali’s sister Emma came along, Don and Jean’s second granddaughter was born. Don and Jean spent many years making the trek from their home in Las Cruces back to the Rockford area to be there for the girl’s birthdays, at holidays, soccer games, girl’s conference swim meets, RDC Nutcracker Ballets, and graduations. Later when Angela remarried James (Jim) Schmitt, he and his son Andrew (AJ) Schmitt became a part of the May family too.

Don is survived by his wife Jean May, son Kevin May (Jan Ebling), granddaughters Cali Jean May and Emma Carol Margaret, daughter Angela Schmitt (Jim), AJ Schmitt, extended family, and lifelong friends. Don is now reunited with his parents and beloved son Ross in heaven. Don may have hit the wall in this last race, but even though the timer stopped, his legacy never will. He will live on in the hearts and minds of those that he reached along the way.

Funeral Services will be held at 11:00 a.m. on Friday, September 23, 2022 at Fred C. Olson Chapel, 1001 Second Ave., Rockford, IL. Visitation will be from 9:30 to 10:45 a.m. prior to the service. Internment at Scandinavian Cemetery in Rockford. In lieu of flowers, the family requests for those who wish to express their sympathy to donate to St. Jude Children’s Hospital in Don’s name. To send a condolence or share a memory, visit olsonfh.com .